My E - M - E Open Letter

I have a degree in Broadcast Communication, and I came from a university wherein "utak ang puhunan", but even though I came from a well known state university, I ended up somewhere. I didn't make it to the broadcasting companies, perhaps I am not good enough. I had asked myself, am I a failure? So as if I didn't have any option, I chose to answer calls.

I met people with different sad stories. I met people with different sexual preferences. I met people who became my family, but then I realized some things. I realized that I was almost wasting what I had acquired, but I didn't immediately passed my resignation letter. It took me nine months, before I did. Thanks to my professor, who enlightened me, and who helped me with my struggles, because I felt that I was lost.

I took another turn in my life, and this road is also different. I'm still not in the place that I wanted to be, but I enjoyed it. Right now, I am in a place where you acquire knowledge and skills. In this place, I felt a little comfortable, yet a little unsure.

My first day, my confidence is shaking. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I just jumped into the cliff without knowing how high it was, but even though my confidence is faltering, I have shown them what hell. 

Yet, I have never imagined that they would embrace it, and I have never imagined that I will love it. I have loved spending time with them and knowing their stories. I have loved their weirdness and their uniqueness, that's why I don't want them to be oppressed by others.

I thought that I am a heartless and soulless human being, but then I learned to be a mother hen, and I learned to protect my chicks from the snakes, but snakes are sly and they'll do anything to eat them. Whenever, they are being shouted at, being unfairly treated, my heart breaks, that's why even though I gained enemies, I will still fight for them until my last breath.

No one can touch them or say bad things to them, unless it is I. I don't expect that they will do the same for me, but still I will do things as long as I can. I had embraced this profession like it had been written for me all along, like I was meant to be here.

Yet, incidents happen and since you love them, they will hunt you down and kill you, so that they can take over your kingdom. There will be people who would think highly of themselves, some would gained your favor until you are oblivious, while others are talking and planning about your death. 

So instead of talking back to them, I chose music to drown their voices. I chose to be silent and watched as the towers fell down. One day, you will all look up to us and we will watch as you get drown in the poison you have created.

Again, I am not in the place where my principles apply. I am not in a place where understanding should be practiced more. I am not in a place where I belong, yet I chose to be here, so I shall stand my ground and give a good fight, until there's no other road for me to take.

But once, another road showed up, I'll take that road, but the roads that I have taken will always be part of my journey, and it will always have a place in my small heart.

Xoxo