Something to share

It's raining and so her eyes, wrapping herself with a blanket to warm her grieving heart. Her hands shaking - hoping you'll hold it 'til the end. She whispered in the dark for you to come back, but you are long way gone. She's in the dark again, but you never care. You told her it's nothing - but honey, it's not. Why deny she's in pain? She's asking for your help, but what did you tell her?  "It's not a cry for help, but only seeking attention." So now, blood runs no more in her veins. The blanket she wraps around is soak in red and rust...  It's too late now, she has said her goodbyes.

I am not okay - even how many times you say I will be. You also told me not to overthink, but I wish you have told me instead how not to. You even told me I was not trying hard to be optimistic, but you never know what's it like to be me. You don't know what's it like to have unstable emotions; what it's like to feel to be in the dark and cold, neither the feeling of being lost and empty. I always wish I am like anybody else, whose smiles are genuine, and emanating sunshine. I wish I can walk into the field of flowers without being scared that it might wither when I touch it. You don't know how scared I am to be me. I am scared that any minute I will snap and hurt myself. I am scared to lock myself inside the cabinet just to atone for being me - a disappointment to my family and friends. If only you know how scared I am to be left alone, because I know when I am by myself, I might not be able to see the sky again, for I will repeatedly break my wings.  I never wish ...