What's it like to be me?
I am not okay - even how many times you say I will be. You also told me not to overthink, but I wish you have told me instead how not to. You even told me I was not trying hard to be optimistic, but you never know what's it like to be me. You don't know what's it like to have unstable emotions; what it's like to feel to be in the dark and cold, neither the feeling of being lost and empty. I always wish I am like anybody else, whose smiles are genuine, and emanating sunshine. I wish I can walk into the field of flowers without being scared that it might wither when I touch it. You don't know how scared I am to be me. I am scared that any minute I will snap and hurt myself. I am scared to lock myself inside the cabinet just to atone for being me - a disappointment to my family and friends. If only you know how scared I am to be left alone, because I know when I am by myself, I might not be able to see the sky again, for I will repeatedly break my wings. I never wish ...