Sex and Virginity: Why is it such a big deal?

When we are young we are taught that sexual activities (sex) such as kissing, masturbating and anal/vaginal penetration are a big no - no, but as we grow older, we learn that those things are part of our lives. Yet, even as we are old enough to understand it people around us especially parents are cautious to drop the word "sex" or to even talk about it, but why? Because parents are not receptive.

According to Popcom - National Capital Region director Lydio Español (as cited from Philstar, 2019) that Filipino parents still refuse to discuss and teach the rudiments of sexuality to their adolescent children, and they are not open in discussing about STI (sexually transmitted infections) HIV/ AIDS, about teenage pregnancy and a stigma with premarital sex.

We are already in the age of digital media and people are more knowledgeable and more understanding, yet knowledge about these things are being deprived and ideas about it are labelled as taboo. We had also thought that engaging in premarital sex is wrong, because it is against our beliefs - against the Christian teachings, wherein only couples who are bounded by marriage are allowed to do that, but sex is part of intimacy, that's why even couples on dating terms are doing it. It helps them to get to know each other, because sex is not just about penetration. There's talking and being familiar with each other, so it is not wrong as long as there's no assault or extortion happening.

Aside from that we grow up believing that virginity is very important, but this is wrong AGAIN! Because it is not. Losing your virginity does not make you less of a person, and honestly, it is not about the hymen which is an elastic membrane which partially closes the opening of the vagina, it's like a ponytail or a scrunchy that can be stretched. Virginity is only a state of mind, but we, Filipinos take it as a big deal if a girl loses her virginity, because we believe that it is the only gift that we can present to our husband which is another myth that your parents have taught you. Due to this stereotypical idea, women are only seen as sex object and are discriminated.

Engaging in sex and losing your virginity should not be a big deal, if only people are open minded. Besides sexual activities have benefits, not just for mere pleasure or for procreation. It helps us to reduce stress, anxiety, depression, and heart attack according to Lloyd Pharmacy Online Doctor, because our body releases hormones such as endorphins, serotonin and oxytocin that makes us happy and make us feel good about ourselves, which some parents probably do not know, because they believe that when you keep engaging in such activity you'll look haggard and look like you have  already given births even though you are still on your twenties, but that's not true. Sexual activities do not make you look like an old hag, because the only changes that happens in your body are internally. It is only a myth that your hips will be wider and your butt would look sag or you would look like a hag. There's actually no truth about it, because the hormones that your body releases during sex makes you bloom and makes you feel good about yourself.

Hence, sex and virginity should not be considered as a taboo, and there should not be a stigma about it, because it is part of our lives and it is normal. You may engage in sex as long as you want, yet you have to know your limitations and know how to be always safe. Moreover, parents and elders should be open about it, so that future generations won't make the same mistake from the past.  Our generation are considered liberated, but we are not. We are just more open minded and we are just more knowledgeable than the older generation. However, we still need to listen to them, for they still hold some of the wisdom that we don't have.